2011 had been one of, if not, the worst year of my life. Even now, there is little that is good that I could suggest came out of most of the year.   Through my summer with Urban Neighbours of Hope (UNOH), The Sold Project & Urban Light, I’ve discovered in such a profound way, that when you take your eyes off yourself and serve the needs of those who truly know what suffering and hardship is about, it is there that life and hope and freedom and love is to be found.  The words of God to his people hold true:

‘and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,  

then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear;

The Lord will guide you always;

he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.

You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.’

God has been very gracious to me through the last few months.  He has helped me to be caught up afresh in His grand adventures.  He has reminded me of just how BIG his heart is for all!  He has shown me that in the midst of great personal loss and suffering, He is to be found.  My life circumstances haven’t changed dramatically, but my perspective is completely different.

I am so thankful for all who have been a part of this journey with me.  My brother-in-law asked me the other day whether I feel like Thailand was a bookend to the chapter of life that has just ended.  I think the answer is yes.  2011 has been redeemed – something useful, valuable, beautiful has come out of the last weeks of it.  And yet, while I simply set out to redeem a year that was lost, I suspect that God had and has something much more stunning in mind.

On Sunday night, I had opportunity to share what God has done through my summer adventure in Thailand.  To listen in visit: www.werribeebaptist.org.au/podcast   It was such a privilege to watch as God began stirring the hearts of people in this service to catch His heart for justice.  Several people came and shared after the service some creative ways in which they might become part of the solution.

Since returning to Australia, I have had several great long-term opportunities for work and ministry open up to me.  If you’re reading this and are a pray-er, I would value your prayer as I seek to know where God would have me serve in the coming season.  Watch this space for more as it continues to unfold and thanks for being on the journey with me.

p.s suggestions for a new blog name are welcome! 

a huge thank-you to all who donated and prayed for the party we threw today to celebrate the young men at Urban Light.

There was alot of joy in the room as the boys returned from a buffet lunch and arcade games to the centre to find the UL table tennis table covered in 180 photos depicting the last ten weeks at UL. The boys were amazed to see so many images of themselves, laughing, playing and enjoying life.

Then there were special cupcakes (made by Shelly, who takes the boys for baking class every Wednesday) and photobook presents for each of the boys, (I underestimated the value they would place on being given beautiful pictures of themselves and their friends to them in a format that meant they could take the pictures with them!).

Then an acoustic guitar was given as a group gift to the boys, followed by the best gift of all – a soaking from my twin water pistols!!!

I had opportunity to thank the boys for letting me be part of their community, spoke to their character and shared a verse from Isaiah 49 that speaks of God having the name of his people engraved on the palm of his hand. Each of their photobooks had an image of this scripture written on the palm of my hand. The cover of their books had their name on the palm of my hand and I did a big blowup photo for the centre with all their names on my hand, (I may actually have their names permanently inked on my hand after having so much ink drawn on me the last few days!).

I shared with the boys that today was all about celebrating them and that people back in Australia had given money for this purpose.  I struggled for the right words.  I hope/trust that the translation made up for my lack and that the Spirit added what I couldn’t say to ensure these young men are so aware of how loved, valued and remembered they are.

The day ended exactly how my first day at the centre ended – me losing at ping pong!

Again, thanks so much to all who made today possible.

Now to think about packing!

new UL guitar getting tested out…

I was praying as I walked to dinner that God would just open the heavens and make everything clean and fresh again.

as I ate dinner, (roast pork noodle soup), I watched a man approach the tables of some other customers.

he was not a waiter.  he was really, really dirty.  A kind of dirty that can only come from alot of life lived on the streets.

he stopped at each table, put his hand out and waited.  he was not in a hurry.  but it was a tough crowd.  he looked like he had little to show for his efforts.

i looked down at my soup as he approached my table.

i studied my soup closely.  he waited.  i thought long and hard about ignoring him and just enjoying the last mouthfuls of my dinner.

i’ve been trying to give to anyone who asks for help on this trip.  The only time I’ve felt ripped off was when I grudgingly came to the aid of an English tourist who sold me a story about having his drink spiked and his wallet stolen.  I was wary and didn’t give him much but it still left a rotten after taste when he failed to keep his promise to return the little I did lend him.  But I’ve been trying to give even if it’s just a couple Baht (a few cents).  Yesterday, I bought a bottle of water from the lady who yells hello at me as soon as she can see me way down the street.  A minute or so down the road, a guy is begging with a sign that reads ‘HIV help’.  I give him a couple baht and offer my bottle of water.  His grin shows missing teeth and I leave as he takes a swig from the bottle.  my heart feels happy, like i’m just the middle man in a transaction that God is somehow orchestrating.  but sometimes I just don’t feel like giving.  I hate that it requires a severe prompting that I can only describe as coming from God that makes me  turn around and part with a little of the ‘much’ that I have and don’t really need.  most of the time anyway.

but back to dinner…

the man takes one step away from me and is at the next table.  i watch to see if he has any luck at a table of six westerners.  it’s like he’s completely invisible – no acknowledgement – no words – no shake of the head – no nothing.

i reach out and tap him on the shoulder and motion for him to sit at my table.  I point at my soup and try to ask if he wants a bowl of his own.  he nods, grins and tries to sit down but the tables are squeezed so closely together that he can’t get to the chair opposite me.  Unperturbed, he promptly goes to the next table and sits down like he is the king of the manor.  he seems to have no concept that the other two people already sitting at that table don’t want his company while they wait for their meal.  oblivious, he ignores them attempts to move him on and grins like a kid on Christmas morning while I go and ask the street vendor for another bowl of soup that will cost all of 30 baht ($1).  I finish my meal, pay for the soups and watch over my shoulder as my new friend tucks in, wishing I could capture this moment on film.

but back to the rain…

a few minutes ago it started hammering down.  as soon as I heard it I grabbed my camera and went out the door.

drops of the big fat variety were falling in abundance.  crowds of people lined the streets watching.  It has rained only twice in the 71 days I’ve been here – so it is something of a novelty when it does happen.

i ran down the street, my feet landing in big puddles.  I ran across the road to Thapae Gate, a large open area where buskers, artists, rollerbladers and teens riding backwards on bikes, (strange but amazing – they do some crazy tricks!)  gather.  Later in the night, dozens of old Western men will come here to meet young Thai men.

not really knowing where I am going, but just enjoying the feel of wetness on my skin, I’m stopped by a Thai woman and her son, (I’m guessing he is three years old).

they don’t ask me to stop.  their presence demands that I do.  for we are the only ones among the forty or fifty gathered in this public space who are out enjoying the rain.  Everyone else is gathered under tarpaulins that are being erected for whatever the next festival is that the Thai like to celebrate every few days.

the mother is clapping along to buskers (also under cover), encouraging her son to dance.

the son has stripped off his clothes.  he is completely starkers.

and he is weeing while he dances!!!

i laugh out loud, the mother joins in and the son is completely and utterly oblivious – taking a whiz and enjoying the feel of rain (and perhaps the odd spray of wee) on his skin.

everything in me wants to take a picture of this moment of joy and abandon, but I’m aware that this might not be taken too kindly to.  It will have to be yet another of those moments that I have to try hard to remember.

the little kid in me wants to dance too.  Not nude and not trying to see how high I can wee into the air.  but I feel the yearning for freedom flowing through my veins – looking for an escape route from the adult, mature skin it is trapped within.

i don’t dance, but I laugh and enjoy the moment.  the rain lightens and I move on.

i walk and watch little rivers of rain cleaning dirt and grime from the streets.

i am thankful.  thankful for moments like these that I have been privileged to participate in over the last ten weeks.

i am fearful.  fearful that as I return to Australia that I will lose the sense of wonder and the gift of being ‘present’ to people that has come alive in me again during this little adventure.

i am moved.  moved afresh by a God who’s heart is so incredibly BIG.  The one who knows intimately & loves ferociously the dirty man eating noodle soup, the three year old nudie who celebrated the rain in all his glory, the men and boys gathering in the shadows, the man with the HIV sign, the woman who begs, sleeps and knits fluroescent pink jumpers on the same bit of sidewalk at all hours of the day and night, my smoothie lady who today gave me an amazing box of traditional Thai desserts as a going away present, the woman who sells me water each day like it is her greatest privilege and joy, the bar full of drunk people downstairs who are shouting out Bon Jovi like it’s the early 1990′s.

and you.

and me.

we too are loved.

we are prized.

we are remembered.

even when we get it wrong and bugger things up, like happens with me most days.

we have our name engraved on the palm of his hand, (Isaiah 49:15-16).

ps… on the way back to my room, after the rain had stopped, I saw the boy and his mum again.

he was still loving the freedom of being nude, causing mayhem running around a Starbucks! 

Earlier this week I was privileged enough to tag along for a roadtrip with the staff of SOLD and the founder of UL, (the two organisations I’ve been raising funds and awareness for over the last two years and the two groups I’ve been volunteering with during my time here in Thailand).  We headed north, towards the Myanmar, (Burma) border, and spent a couple of hours in a village that more than a dozen of the boys who are regulars at Urban Light call home.  UL and SOLD were there to learn more about the lives of the families and community the UL boys come from.

I wont even begin to attempt to explain the detailed layers of complexity that surround the many and varied issues that were raised through today’s visit.  What I will say is that I was super impressed with the measured, strategic and realisitic approach of the SOLD team who are clearly in their element, learning from and assessing the needs of a community with multi-faceted issues that require long-term solutions.

My role, (self-imposed) was to smile and make funny faces at the kids, (younger brothers, sisters and cousins of the UL boys).  I also attempted to capture some of the beauty that I saw along the way.

Over the days that have followed I have found myself praying, hoping and believing that just maybe – through the continued work of these organisations and others like them – these children might have a future that is truly hopeful and free from exploitation.

tough to take this view while standing in the shower!

It has been amazing in the last 24 hours to see how much the work and impact of SOLD has grown in the last two years.  Their work revolves around providing educational scholarships to the most at-risk children in their region.  Without this support, these children would drop out of school with a bare basics education and be under pressure to seek work in the cities to support their families – drastically increasing their vulnerability to being trafficked or exploited.  Today SOLD provide scholarships to one hundred children and have a 98% school retention rate over the four years that they have been working in this part of Chiang Rai.  Much of this success can be attributed to the quality of SOLD’s Thai staff, the level of engagement of SOLD with the local community and the support, vision and resources of SOLD’s US-based staff, (some of the best quality people I’ve had the pleasure of seeing in action).  Two years ago, I looked at a patch of red dirt that was to become SOLD’s first resource centre. The resource centre is now bursting at the seams and plans are underway to expand.  The really exciting thing is that the SOLD model is working brilliantly and will be easily transferable (and tweakable), to other communities in northern Thailand and perhaps to other parts of Asia.  Possibilities for an expanding work are likely in the near future.

The organisation was started just a few years ago by a couple of twenty-something girls from California, who were stirred to act in response to what they were learning about human trafficking and sexual exploitation.

It has been refreshing to be back in Chiang Rai, to be reminded of the critical part that prevention plays in these complex issues.

If you’re not already a supporter of SOLD, check out this clip and for as little as $4 a week, join in this vital work of protecting our world’s most precious resource: kids!:

I’m not usually one for new years resolutions.  I’ve heard too many people make all the usual promises before, ‘I’m going to stop smoking, lose weight, eat healthy, exercise, read the Bible more, and on and on the list goes.  But for a couple months now, I’ve had a nagging thought running round in my head that comes in the form of a resolution, hope, goal, dream, plan for 2012.  It’s one of those big, hairy, audacious ones, which explains the hesitation to put it out there in a public forum – the fear that all three of you who are reading this can laugh derisively and make horrible fun out of me come Dec 31 2012 when I’ve failed miserably, is almost palpable, (some of you are laughing derisively at my use of the word palpable).

Enough with the drama queen antics.

In 2012, I hope to … plan to … want to … believe to …

raise one hundred thousand dollars for a handful of organisations who are engaged in the fight to end the trafficking and sexual exploitation of human beings.

In late November, a few of my mates and I raised $10,000 to help further the work of Urban Light and The Sold Project, working in prevention/aftercare of at-risk or already exploited kids and teenagers in Thailand.  Because it’s my goal and my blog, I’m going to extend my 2012 to include that $10,000.  So, I’ve got $90,000 in 365 days to go!  That’s 246 dollars and 57.534246575342 cents a day!  Other than running a few more Ping-Pong-A-Thons in different parts of Australia, I have no idea how I’m going to do it.  When I return to Australia in early Feb, I don’t have a job lined up, I don’t even know where I’ll be living, so there are a lot of reasons why this is not a good year to be running after crazy dreams!  One thing I do know is that I’m gonna need a stack of help from a bunch of people who are interested in doing their little bit to help out!  Maybe, sometime in 2012, I could help you run a little fundraiser at your school, your church, your workplace, your small group, your community group, your university!?!  Maybe, you might have another way you can help out.

I’ll put some more thoughts/ideas, etc out and about on this in the weeks ahead, but for now, I just wanted to encourage anyone who is reading this to give some thought to making this a year in which you give a red hot crack at doing whatever God might be putting in your heart to do.  Not just the little promptings that he gives, but those scary, big, crazy dreams that make you feel both excited and like you need the toilet real bad at the same time.  And really, who cares, if we fall flat on our faces in the trying.  Is it really failure if I fall short of my target by $5,000 or $55,000?  What a glorious failure that would be!  It would mean $95,000 or $45,000 have been raised to end horrendous injustice in the lives of some of the world’s most exploited people!  How I’d love to fail like that every year! 

So, there it is.  Now to push fear aside and hit that darned ‘publish’ button!

The last few weeks has certainly been a time of living, adventure, passion & hope.  I truly have seen the beginnings of the healing that Isaiah 58 speaks about.

Yesterday I had a great little reminder of the way God redeems.  I’d been reading the book of Job over the last few weeks.  I got to the last chapter and love these few simple words:

‘When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes.  In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before!’.  How sweet is it that it was as Job prayed for his friends, (who hadn’t been the best of friends to him in the previous several chapters), that God brought restoration to his own life.  That is Isaiah 58 right there.  Really encouraged as I pass the halfway mark of my little adventure, that I am having the opportunity to be investing into the lives of others – with some really suprising and rich God moments emerging.  I continue to trust that in the midst of that, God is restoring, healing and renewing my heart.

A massive thankyou to all who have been praying for me or just reading along with my adventures!

I hope you look ahead like I do with a great sense of hope and anticipation at all that God is going to bring in the year ahead!

been trying to weigh up how much and what a volunteer should buy the UL boys for Christmas.  As my dad wisely suggested, I don’t want to set a precedent that will see the boys come to expect that volunteers who come to work at UL will spend lots of money on them.  I also don’t want to reinforce the dependency of the boys on UL, (this is a fine line that is walked everyday by these sorts of organisations – how do you empower the boys – giving them experiences, opportunities and resources that will help them to discover the life they were created for – without making them dependent on the organisation who is assisting them in this process!  Really tricky!!!).

heaps of ideas have come and gone.  yesterday I had a moment of clarity.

1. Shopping last week  with the UL staff for decorations, etc, I bought a great Christmas tree.  The boys will enjoy setting it up and making decorations for it over the next couple days and it can be re-used for the next 10+ Christmas parties!

2. DVD shopping a couple nights ago.  The boys watch a DVD at the centre a couple of times a week.  Went hunting for a favourite movie of mine, (‘August Rush’) that has a story the boys will relate to and is so full of HOPE!  I thought, there would be no way they’d have it, because it’s not recent and it’s not all that mainstream.  First two places, no go!  Third place – BINGO!  And it has Thai subtitles so they’ll actually understand it!

3.  I wanted to do something that captures the true spirit of Christmas and to give the boys an opportunity to experience that for themselves.  With the help of the UL staff, I’m writing the boys a message in Thai that explains what Christmas is all about, the amazing gift God gave to all people in his son, Jesus.  The message will also explain that I am giving each boy 100 Baht, which I’m entrusting them to use to buy a gift for someone they know who needs a gift much more than they do.  It might be a family member, another boy from the bars where they work, someone who lives on the street.  It’s an exercise both in trust but hopefully in giving the boys a chance to enjoy giving!

That’s the plan for now anyway!

Hope you find some meaning in the midst of the Christmas shopping madness! 

There are alot of lines!  Read this morning these words:
You stand up to judge those who do evil O God,
And to rescue the oppressed of the earth.  psalm 76:9

I find myself praying the scriptures alot here.

I love it when I’m on a motorbike with a couple of others (which happens most days) – sometimes I just rest my hand on the shoulder of the one in front of me and pray silent prayers.

Out in the bars tonight for a couple hours – our boys put on brave smiling faces – it’s easy to forget the context and to just watch the boys play pool, laugh, have fun.  But the moments of joy are like punctuation marks in a sea of oppression.   The ‘farang’ sit and watch and wait.  The boys drink, smoke and do whatever they need to do to make it through the next few hours.

when does the judgement come?    when do the oppressed get rescued?    how long???

Tonight I kept thinking of the words in Psalm 68 that I blogged about a week or two ago:
‘Father to the fatherless, defender of the widows – this is God, whose dwelling is holy.  God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy’.

I wish I had the power to be able to place these boys in families with a mum and dad who will love on them, place strong healthy boundaries around them and make them do their homework. I know that’s my Western brain trying to fix what I don’t yet fully understand!  But…

How long God?

How long?

‘Summon your might, O God.  Display your power, O God, as you have in the past’.   psalm 68:28